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As I HOPE you've noticed, The Western Onion now has a new magazine-style format. We decided that it was just too much hassle to deal with a full-sized newspaper. I mean, it's a bit too conspicuous to be reading a newspaper in a boring lecture, right? Right! 

 ...Not that I'm encouraging anyone to read the new, more inconspicuous TWO instead of paying attention in lectures. I would never do that!

This first semester of 2007 has been a bumpy one as far as producing TWO has been concerned. A general lack of content (come on, people!) and some questionable tactics by other organisations and publications within the university environment has meant that even when we have managed to put out the newspaper, it hasn't necessarily made it into your hot little hands. This is unfortunate and more than a little frustrating, but we here at the TWO office are keeping our heads high and looking to the future and what it has to offer.

By Alexander Glumac

So, what do we know about Peter?

Isn’t he the Opposition Leader?

Don’t they call him Peter who?

He wants us to drink from the loo.

He failed at every business venture,

No wonder why he’s got a temper.

The bloke couldn’t run a gym,

Poor Iemma cops it on the chin.

Remember that debate on Stateline?

Peter always stepped out of line.

Kept saying the same old BS,

At one stage I switched to SBS.

He kept attacking Labor,

By Alexander Glumac

His full name is John Winston Howard,

But to most of us he’s a coward.

He went to Canterbury Boys High School,

He supports the Dragons, what a fool.

He studied Law at the University of Sydney,

But he told us lies about the AWB.

He does things like a typical Yank,

And when he sees Bush, he has a wank.

He and Peter Costello are good mates,

No wonder why we have high interest rates.

In high school, he failed maths,

When he became PM, he upped the tax.

He is worth more than a million dollars,

His overseas trips are funded by the ‘blue collars’.

S**t hit the fan when he introduced GST,

John didn’t even care to a tee.

What about his IR laws – How worse can it get?

You could win great prizes during Welcome Week.

All you need to do is visit a UWSSA office between the 26th February 2007 and 8th March 2007 and enter the draw.

Entry is free for UWSSA members.

-------------------------- 

FIRST PRIZE 

1 x  Wireless Modem

1 x  Wireless Network Card

4 x  Double Passes to see the Hitcher

SECOND PRIZE

1 x  Wireless Modem

1 x  Wireless Network Card

2  x Double Passes to see the Hitcher

THIRD PRIZE  (6 to win!) 

1 x  Double Pass to the see the Hitcher

The deadlines to submit advertising and content for Issue #1 have now passed.

Our lovely subeditors and layout crew are now formulating the first issue.

It's so very exciting!  The first issue should be on campus 26th Feb.

Don't forget to pick up a copy.

It's looking to be an awesome start to the semester with a great issue coming out with all sorts of cool stuff and info and stories and whatnot.

If you get a chance to drop by our Welcome Week stalls, make sure you say thanks to the subbies and the layout crew who have being doing a fantastic job and are crucial to keeping the Western Onion alive and kicking.

You can also send us a letter / article / image to  theonion@two.org.au and we'll whack it in Issue #2.

Thanks to all the contributors, advertisers and supporters, we love you too!

Community Action Against Homophobia (CAAH) will hold a speak-out at Fair Day - Sunday 18th February at 1pm. CAAH will ask all up-coming candidates in the March state elections to speak at the event about how they will campaign for same-sex equality. Fair Day is an annual picnic in the park event within the month of Mardi Gras.

Simon Biber, CAAH Co-Convenor said "An estimated 75,000 lesbian, gay, bi-sexual, transgender, intersex (LGBTI) and their friends will be at Fair Day. When Ruddock quashed the ACT Civil Partnerships Bill this was also homophobic assault on democracy. With Howard on an anti-queer rampage, we have a perfect opportunity to hear about how politicians are going to fight for our rights. How will they help the fight for adoption rights, for civil unions, for marriage? For genuine equality?"